On the subject of allergies
Dear Janit
Contrary to your belief, Jim does not hate you, he is allergic to cats – that is why you are not welcome in his room. There is no malicious intent, if he were to respond to your requests for affection his eyes would swell up to the size of eggs and he would cry like a child. Please focus your attention seeking at the other members of the household.
I hope this information goes some way to easing any paranoid thoughts you had, and trust that you will not use it for any sort of mischief such as rolling about on his pillow when we are all out at work.
Love always
Crispin
