Dear JanitChristmas day is soon upon us and with that so will be my family and doubtless other house guests. Seeing as this is the season of good will and all, and there appears to be so much of it about, I was hoping that you might see your way to extending some of this surplus towards them.

I don’t mean to imply humbug (or that you are some sort of Scrooge or Grinch) but I fear that your composed demeanour, whilst elegant and reserved could be misinterpreted by some as a general lack of Christmas spirit ~ and we wouldn’t want any of our guests to be mistaken now would we?

Additionally, let me extend to you my immense gratitude that the Christmas tree and decorations remain relatively intact and everyone’s presents, including your own, show no signs of claw damage or overenthusiastic investigation.

With that said let us break out the mulled wine and mince pies and make a toast to peace on earth and goodwill to men (and cats).

Merry Christmas

Lots of love from

Crispin

Would you care to read another passive aggressive letter?