Dear Janit,
Further to my recent correspondence on places to sit and our recent discussions on how you might be less of an annoyance let us talk briefly on your fetish for bags. I am convinced that no cat in the history of things has ever held such a fascination to anything in the world as you do with carrier bags, if I come in with one and place it down there you are, all over it like nobody’s business rolling about and making a terrible fuss. This practise, though rather undignified shall only permitted to continue if you can at the very least wait the two minutes until I have removed the shopping from within.
All the best, Crispin