On the slaying of flies

Dear Janit,

I really am so pleased with your progression at the sport of fly killing. I think it’s safe to say we are now both fully convinced that paws and claws (more so than eyes, as  previously discussed) are better suited to the task in hand. However, I do still feel that there is slight room for improvement in your technique ~ you see ideally what we are looking for here is a clean quick kill, one in common with/demonstrative of a benevolent and merciful assassin, the likes of which I am sure we can both agree you aspire to be. I would like to remind you that there is no place for torture in our house, we are civilised decent people and I really would like for you to try, at least, to bear that in mind.

In other words, what I am pushing for, is for you to refrain from just biting their wings off and leaving them to spin about the floor like fitting raisins until I come in, the ‘clean up man’, to chase them about with a tissue.

Warmest regards,

Crispin

P.S. Please do not allow my criticism to detract from my praise.

flywings On the slaying of flies

December 10th, 2010 by
  • http://twitter.com/AuthorsAnon B.Lloyd

    Dear Janit, Erica and Crispin,

    Thank you. There will be a furry feline by the name of Mortimer joining in online one of these days – until then, my whiskers will be curled gleefully by perusing these musings.
    (Note to self: Find time to read this blog at least once a day. It WILL keep doctors and doldrums at bay)

    Yours, @AuthorsAnon (@EuroArtNet)

Would you care to read another passive aggressive letter?

Janit the cat at ChristmasnewpaperDear Janit - Letters to my cat

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