I would like you to explain why you persist in drinking the water from my glass beside my bed. I am certain you are fully aware that you have your own water in a bowl in the kitchen. You may consider this jovial mischief but frankly you look like an idiot with your face half way down a pint glass and I feel it only fair to point out that you use that same tongue to lick places that I would not. This resultant flavour, however delicate, is one that I would rather not have as an addition to my morning glass of water.
Love from Crispin