On the subject of the painters

Dear Janit

I’m so pleased to see that you have decided to venture out of the spare bedroom and have a look round the rest of our new flat. Obviously we shall need to do a wee bit of sprucing up in order to get this new place up to the standard that we have both become accustomed. To this end I have taken the initiative to hire in the services of the local painter an decorator hoping to avoid a repetition of the terrible debacle resulting from the last time you and I took it upon ourselves to paint a room.

So, with this in mind, I wonder if it might be better for you to keep yourself contained in the spare room as much as possible over the next few days, where the fumes will be much less of an annoyance. If you do decide to venture out, please do show some consideration to Mr. Kalo and his friend, try not to shout at them and lets try and keep the cheekiness to an absolute minimum. I would also add that attempting to trick them into feeding you a second breakfast will get you absolutely nowhere as I have made them both fully aware of your penchent for mendacity in this area and given strict instruction that you are not to be fed a single thing. Finally Janit, may I ask you please to do your very best to maintain a good distance between yourself and any paint or painting equipment that my be with in reach.

Love from Crispin

Paint tin with cat paw prints walking away