Posted on 22 December 2010, 1:55 pm, by crispin, under
letters.
Dear Janit
Christmas day is soon upon us and with that so will be my family and doubtless other house guests. Seeing as this is the season of good will and all, and there appears to be so much of it about, I was hoping that you might see your way to extending some of this surplus towards them.
I don’t mean to imply humbug (or that you are some sort of Scrooge or Grinch) but I fear that your composed demeanour, whilst elegant and reserved could be misinterpreted by some as a general lack of Christmas spirit ~ and we wouldn’t want any of our guests to be mistaken now would we?
Additionally, let me extend to you my immense gratitude that the Christmas tree and decorations remain relatively intact and everyone’s presents, including your own, show no signs of claw damage or overenthusiastic investigation.
With that said let us break out the mulled wine and mince pies and make a toast to peace on earth and goodwill to men (and cats).
Merry Christmas
Lots of love from
Crispin
Posted on 25 June 2010, 11:31 am, by crispin, under
letters.
Dear Janit
I implore you not to sulk so on the rare occasions that I return home in the company of a young lady.
All guests to our home should be greeted politely. Your attitude is unbecoming of a cat of your breeding and sophistication. I would also like to point out that I do not brood or mope about the house when you disappear for hours on end, doubtlessly flirting and fornicating with every Tom-Cat Dick or Harry in North London.
Do let’s try and be grown ups about this.
Love from
Crispin
Dear Janit,
I think it is a dreadful shame that you run away and hide when I return home drunk as all hell with half the pub in tow. I can assure you that they are all upright and sterling fellows, gentlemen who would no doubt be charmed with your presence given the chance. You might learn a thing or two from our eloquent discourse and witty banter that, if a little loud, is always of a calibre more commonly heard in the lecture halls of Oxbridge ~ or on Radio 4.
I look forward to introducing you at the next occurrence of this impromptu soirée.
love from
Crispin
